On Fridays, I like to participate in a group blogging effort called Five Minute Fridays. Today's topic is "jump."Since my progressive hearing loss took a southward turn in March, I've been trying to figure out what is next for me. This has required some "jumping in" to test the waters. Here are a few things I've jumped into:
Finding other people like me. The internet is full of them! I have joined several facebook groups for later-deafened adults. Some lost hearing progressively, others lost it suddenly. It's not so much that misery loves company, but that others have traveled the road and can help each other figure out resources, etc.
Exploring cochlear implant options. I have met with a surgeon who says I qualify. We are working for insurance approval now. This is a huge step, and one that I will jump cautiously into...if the insurance gives me the go-ahead. If they say no, I will probably jump into a media circus!
Learning (re-learning?) sign language. I need to improve my communication options. The irony for me is that I have a degree in deaf education...but that was 30 years ago and my sign language skills never were very good. I am going to deaf meet-ups to practice signing, working through an online class, and toying with the idea of a summer immersion class at Gallaudet (deaf university in DC). I'm having so much fun...remembering signs and why I studied deaf ed to begin with.
Considering a career change. This new deafness didn't land on me randomly. There's a purpose for everything. Could it be I'm supposed to get back in deaf ed? I am exploring my options there...if God has a plan for me (and I know He does--He said so: Jer. 29:11 "plans for good, not for disaster..."), then I need to be open to figuring out what is next. I'm excited to figure this out.
Staying positive. OK, this is hard for me...my senior class prophesy has always bothered me: "...will write the book the power of negative thinking..." ugh. I'm a realist. The reality here is I am deaf. Deaf is better than many things..(i.e. death, divorce, cancer). Why is this happening? I have no idea..but it's permanent and it's part of who I am. This didn't catch God unaware while He was busy taking care of someone else. So, I am looking for the good in it and moving forward. What is the good? So far I have realized: my husband is the greatest human I know, my mother (also lost hearing) is one of the smartest people I know, and many, many people love me and are happy to repeat themselves over and over.
As things happen in our lives, we can curl up in a ball and cry, "Woe is me!" or we can embrace them and say, "How big is my God that He would trust me with this!" I'm choosing to jump in on this one and trust that He is far bigger than a little problem like deafness. What is He trusting you with? What do you need to jump in and embrace today? Can you trust Him enough to let go and jump?
Saying prayers for you precious one, be blessed.
ReplyDeleteLisa, I am so blessed to be your new friend. My understanding and acceptance of hearing loss came processed quickly but its not a race. I guess God's promise is He loves us and knows these body are not perfect. The good news is there are some really good doctors out there and amazing support.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing, Lisa!
ReplyDeleteWow! What a positive post. Thank you for sharing it and reminding us who is in control, even when we don't know why something is happening. You are a great encouragement!
ReplyDeleteI followed you over from Lisa-Jo's page because I loved your avatar, but having no idea what I would find. Wow! I've also experienced adult-onset deafness that I am trying to learn to grapel with. 18 months ago, (at age 39) I had 6 strokes, causing several significant losses, including almost total deafness of my left ear and impairment of my right. I have had two surgeries to the left ear, now allowing me to hear a very few muffled sounds, but it is not functional to hold a conversation. Based on the right ear's limited abilities and lip reading, attempted conversation is often laughable, like when I asked my daughter why on earth she was asking for "pants and a tiger" only to find out she really wanted "hand sanitizer." :)
ReplyDeleteI also was going into deaf education, but never finished my degree. (I took 3 years of Sign Language, but still am not fluent, especially where it comes to reading words Signed to me.) Since I lost fine motor use of my left hand and my right hand (that I type with) is also mildly effected, my ability to Sign is rather limited to clumsy, single handed Signs and very slow finger spelling now.
I would love it if you could direct me to any of those Facebook groups you mentioned. This has been on my "to do" list to track down. You can find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stroke-of-Grace-by-Jennifer-Saake/339888582731687
Blessings!
jenni
Lisa, this is inspirational. You write with such grace and compassion, such a positive outlook and trust in God's best plans despite how things may appear. It is humbling to read how far you have already 'jumped' and how much further you are prepared to do so. May you be greatly blessed in the process and find Him to be your all-sufficiency always. :) xx
ReplyDeleteLisa...
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog today after linking through from a comment you posted on the Proverbs 31 Daily Devotional. Thank you for this post!!! Your positive outlook on life - especially in light of your recent deafness - is very refreshing and encouraging on so many levels!
I have had a mild hearing impairment in one ear since age 3 (I'm now 40). In the last few years I've noticed that I've begun having a bit of difficulty hearing the TV well and hearing people when in noisy situations. To make a long story short, I finally got my hearing tested two months ago, only to discover that my previously mild hearing loss in my "bad" ear has become a moderate loss and that my "good" ear is now showing a mild loss as well at most frequencies. As a relatively new wife and mom of two very young children, I've really been struggling to come to terms with hearing loss and the fact that I need to get one hearing aid this year, and will likely require two aids within the next few years. I'm sad that my kids will only ever really know me as "hard of hearing". I'm very fearful of the future. I want to be able to hear my husband's, children's, and friends' voices for a long time to come... I've been terrified of becoming deaf since a few episodes of bilaterally perforated eardrums when I was very little. And yet, you remind me that there are worse things - much worse things! Being hard of hearing doesn't hurt - at least not physically. It's inconvenient, but it's not life threatening.
I went out cycling about a month ago when I was having a really rough day coping with my ears and stressing about all of the "what ifs", and the verse that God brought to my heart very clearly was Jeremiah 29:11. He made it abundantly clear that HE knows the plans HE has for me, even if I don't, and that His plans are for GOOD, NOT harm. Since that day, I've been reciting that verse every time fear and uncertainty about the future threaten to overwhelm me. I KNOW our God is good! He watches over the sparrows; therefore, how much more does He watch over me? (And you!)
Anyway, I just want to thank you for being a light, and for writing about "jumping in". I'd been thinking for awhile that I needed to do some jumping in, and I strongly suspect that God's leading me to your blog was confirmation of that.